The Struggle is part of the Story

I am so thankful for the TTC community.  The ladies in our community are amazing!  We encourage and inspire each other, grieve with others who are likewise suffering or discouraged and celebrate with overwhelming joy a success of any kind and especially a BFP!  For so many months, I kept my struggle with infertility between my husband and myself. It wasn't that I was ashamed, I am just a private person.  Sharing my struggle and my story is the best decision I ever made.  It has been healthy to share the pain and fears and also to have a strong network for support, guidance and reassurance.  

The Struggle is part of the Story.  The injections, medicines, countless Doctor appointments, egg retrieval, embryo growth, embryo transfer, staggering financial costs, emotional turmoil and stress, all comprise the struggle.  However, these struggles have made me a stronger person, a more compassionate individual and have drawn me closer to God.  The struggle goes beyond the obvious. 

Even though I have gained the tremendous blessing of support through sharing, it remains a struggle to share.

Many women who conceive naturally would not consider to share the news of their pregnancy at only one month along.  There are still many critical milestones ahead in the baby’s growth...we have not even heard a heartbeat or had a sonogram!  You would think finally getting a BFP (big fat positive) would alleviate the apprehension, but it certainly hasn’t.  Psalm 34:4 comes to mind, “I sought the Lord, and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears.”  I think it is only natural, in a sensitive situation like early pregnancy to be worried about a lack of symptoms, sharp pains, and even comparing your own Beta numbers to other ladies Beta numbers.  I have to continue relinquishing my fears to God who already has a perfect plan.

The past few days, I have been battling with myself over whether to share my news so early and the most appropriate way to share the BEST news I have ever received in my life! (I was doing this battling, while fighting the urge to do a backflip and shout to everyone I see “I am pregnant!!”) I am keeping positive thoughts, am overjoyed beyond measure and I am inviting prayer and support for our growing child. 

I would ask those who know David and me personally, please don’t share our special news before we have the chance to do so!  You are our most treasured of friends. I know, just by your interest in our situation and your love and caring messages, this is not too much to ask.  I have waited through years and throngs of negative pregnancy tests to have finally heard the words that play like beautiful music to my ears, “you are definitely pregnant!” Praise God! LET IT BEE!!!

I know that my news can bring pain to many of you struggling and waiting patiently for your own positive outcome.  This too is part of the struggle.  I refused to allow myself not to allow joy for others. I would think why her not me.  Then I would ask myself again…why not her?  It would help me every time. My prayer is that this step in my story would serve to strengthen our community with hope.  This is exactly what your stories have done for me.  Thank you!

David and I are overjoyed by the news that this round of IVF may just bring us our long awaited BABY BEE!  I am excited to continue sharing our journey, having you cheer us on and having your support and prayer.  I thank God every time I think of you! Philippians 1:3

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice!”

Philippians 4:4

Beta #1 done!

The best $2 I spent on this sash to surprise my family with the news of our Beta results!!